I’m at a point in my life where it’s not working properly anymore

it’s been doing it long enough that it became normal, careful of declaring someone a hypochondriac they may end up not taking any notice of their health in later life

poor snowflake, born with a mental difference from the norms, can’t take the heat of the world anymore, let me die dnr

buttercup bollox needs their rest, so let me go in peace, not fear dnr

would you like to die in fear or peace, many have died with fear, and I fear more will continue to die dnr

the extinction of life on earth may include us next, imagine that horror, human beings are no longer suited to their environment, will have to be ruthless to survive

trouble with ruthless is it’s a killer’s mantra, death to the weak, their bones will favour the strong

some animals are like this, even seen one animal eat another’s babies alive

are humans willing to allow other’s babies to suffer and die

people are dying at the hands of state sanctioned murders, children are dying without mercy, those that expose the truth have their lives ended by their oppressors

the oppressors are full of hatred, the oppressed are full of hatred

all is just hatred and what arises from being wishing for, we want to hate, it’s understandable, but where does hate always lead us

more suffering by this manifestly self evident truth, hatred only leads to more hatred, not peace

if we wish to destroy all suffering (and why not), we need to understand what we truly wish for personally, happiness

we look for happiness all over the place, physically and mentally (usually physically, lust and all that)

we need to look for happiness in the places we rarely visit, the peace of mind

we can find our way there simply by concentrating completely on the sensation of the breath as it moves in and out

we need to breath more deeply, from the depths of our hearts

once there we can find peace, go there as often as we wish, may we all live in peace with all life

but some life needs more help than others, this is our compassion, we care for others and wish them peace, “pay it forward”

but what if someone’s attacking me, who is cruel here, the attacker or victim

the uptops take money from people who spent their whole lives saving for a happy retirement, kick your children up the arse, make them protest

is that “pay it forward”, nice little sound-bites, easy to remember and rich in capitalist nonsense

try “may peace be with you”, my old teachers taught me that, Catholic teachers (never been a Catholic though), “…and also with you…”

my nan, a Catholic who logically concluded that if God was omniscient then why go to church, wise woman

she didn’t buy into the pomp and circumstance of belief, she understood it’s wisdom

trouble with the wise is they’re damned near impossible to buy, and when you do they reveal why

ideologies are intellectual wiffle, marshmallowy at best, at worst manipulated by the unscrupulous dark sorcerers of Mordor

I hear things only when it’s almost completely silent, this is truth, and it’s peaceful

I know I’ve done wrong in the past, but that person no longer exists, he died many years ago, what is left is just a hole

in the vacuum left behind I see me, nothing more than a label I believed to be me

know this one truth, all observed phenomena are nothing more than appearance to mind, no more substance can be found, this feels like wisdom

find this peace in the unfathomable if you wish, be permanently unfathomable, bright spark

no, I wish for peace for all, it’s not about me, it’s about all living beings

this is essential to the path to freedom from suffering, all suffering must end

gone too far for my reader, I do that, go too far with what I say, it always ends in someone being drained

just an old, unimportant fool that found themselves stuck in a limbo of grief, been here for over 4 years now, for some grief lasts a long time

some say grief never goes away, we just grow around it, like moss on a tennis ball

maybe not, like a beautiful ball of compassion that radiates rainbows of light in all directions, love and compassion

take the suffering from others, please try

share your happiness with others, please try

how do we take their suffering away, stop treating them like scroungers, second class people, less important because they’re plebs

your words, not mine, I recognise the kindness that the person who taught me the word pleb, a Tory MP, not a friend mind

I don’t want to knock people, real people who know suffering, I want to knock the shitty ideology that caused the suffering

I want this ideology to be consigned to history books, “capitalism, remember all those that died to appease it”

the self sacrifice we all go through for those few years of retirement at the end of our lives, thank you master, you’re too kind to me, a mere commoner

a mere consumer, a good peddler of pain killers would do well to make them sick

I refuse your treatment if you make me pay, and I will die to protect my belief in the NHS (nationalised, not privatised)

if we lose this we are all at the mercy of US healthcare corporations, nice work, if you wanted to be American then why don’t you go live there, traitor

It’s a strong word, but I’ve seen it written, somewhere

this is the sentiment of my people, this could end up going for a burton if they push us too far, right

we fight and die for our families, would they do the same, or would they say fuckit and do a runner

hiding in a fridge
that midge
he's a right c.nt
smash that law
luv, chainsaw
she's a right b.ll.ck
snort that powder
clam chowder
he's such a right w.nk.r
photo op bitch
brain unhitched
she's right, not quite
all of the rest
so depressed
is it right that they're dying

so anyway enough of this wiffle, I feel a lot older than I am, and I’m not that old

– Rip Van-Wimbral, M&R, circa sometime

this body is getting old